Groom's Guide

Your soon-to-be groom might not care about color schemes or centerpieces, but if you give him some guy-friendly tasks to take care of, he’ll likely be happy to lend a hand in the wedding planning. Pick him up a copy of Doug Gordon’s “The Engaged Groom,” which is full of practical ways he can make himself useful without deciding whether he prefers violet or lavender. Below are a few of Doug’s ideas; I suggest you pass them on.

• Give Her a Break: Once a week, plan something un-wedding-related for the two of you to do. See a movie, go out to dinner, or take a long walk. Chat about whatever’s on your minds, but no one’s allowed to bring up the wedding.
• Help With the Write Stuff: Offer to write half of the thank-you notes. (You are half of the couple, after all.) You might write the thank-yous to your bride’s friends and family members, and she can write to yours. This is a nice way for both of you to familiarize yourselves with guests you haven’t met.
• Don’t Let Them See You Sweat: When you buy your dress shirt for the big day, pick up an identical spare. If your ceremony will be held outdoors on a hot afternoon, you can change before the reception or after a few hours of dancing. An extra shirt will also be helpful should someone try to hug you while holding a glass of red wine.