'Maid Service

What am I expected to pay for when it comes to my bridesmaids?

I get this question all the time. Most people know that bridesmaids pay for their own gown and accessories, and that the bride is supposed to cover the cost of their bouquets and their gifts. If you want them to have their hair and makeup done professionally, you should probably pick up the tab for that, especially if they might have been expecting to do it themselves. What surprises many people is that you're always—and every etiquette book reinforces this—expected to provide your bridesmaids with accommodations, whether that means housing them in your own home, a relative's home, or paying for their hotel room. And while bridesmaids are obligated to get themselves to the wedding destination, you should arrange for their transportation to the ceremony and from the ceremony to the reception if you choose to go by hired car service. Make sure attendants have a way to get back to their homes or hotel rooms, or back to their cars. I've heard countless tales of attendants stranded at a wedding venue at the end of the night, or scrambling to hitch a ride with someone else. One more thing about who pays for what: Despite what etiquette dictates, if you have a friend you'd love to be in your wedding party, but you know she won't be able to afford a plane ticket or an expensive dress, you can go ahead and pick up the tab as a gift to her. As with everything else about your wedding, use the etiquette books as a guideline, but adapt the rules to your own situation if it makes sense to do so. The bottom line is that you want everyone to feel comfortable.

Comments

[Ashley]

What about Bridesmaids who are bringing their boyfriends to the wedding? Do you pick up the hotel room for them to stay alone with their guests? I planned to pay for us all to stay in a suite together on the night before the wedding, but where do I put their boyfriends? Argh.