Stationery Dos and Dont's

Dear Darcy,
I am getting married this summer and my fiancé and I are saving to buy our first house together. We would love monetary wedding gifts to add to our nest egg but worry that it may be rude to state this somewhere in the invitation. Should we say something like "we are not registered for gifts, but we really want a house someday?"
All the best,
Desperately Need Wedding Cash

I consulted our friends at Crane & Co. as they know a thing or two about stationery etiquette. Here's what they had to say.

Dear Desperately Need Wedding Cash,
I certainly understand and appreciate your intent to want to build a “nest egg” to purchase your first house, but keep in mind your wedding is a sacred event celebrating the joyous joining of two people and should not be treated as a financial fundraiser. Your invitation should remain pure in its intent and should never include gift or registry requests.

There are ways to discretely meet your objective while keeping your occasion one that will be cherished by family and friends. The best way to let people know is by word of mouth through family and friends. If this is not practical, your save-the-date card is the least offensive place to include the URL for your wedding website, which can inform guests of registry information or gift preferences. Your website is also a great place to tell your personal story about your aspirations of building a home together.
Good luck,
Crane & Co.

We often get questions about whether it is ok to ask for money as a wedding gift. Times have changed and many people don't want china as a gift anymore.

Do you think it is rude to request cash as a gift on your invitation? What about on the save-the-date card?

Floral stationery from Crane & Co.

Holiday Weekends or not?

Brides often wonder whether it is appropriate to have a wedding on a
holiday weekend like Memorial Day. Some fear that guests may already
have vacation plans during that time and others think that it may even
be rude to ask people to give up a long weekend for their wedding.

Only you know your guests. Some families may be unhappy with the idea
while others may be excited to have special plans. In my opinion, a
holiday weekend can be a great time to invite guests to a destination
wedding. Many people go out of town so why not have them enjoy a
beautiful destination? Another perk is that a long weekend allows for
extra travel time and an extra day to enjoy the wedding location. One
thing to remember is that you should be sure to secure a good hotel rate
as holiday weekends tend to be more expensive.

What do you think about getting married on a holiday weekend? Have you
attended other weddings that have made your holiday weekend a great
excuse for a mini-vacation? Or is it too much of a financial burden and
time commitment for your guests?

Location, Location, Location

People always ask me what I find to be the most difficult part of planning a wedding. I think that everyone has different obstacles but one of the biggest challenges seems to be finding the right location. Figuring out whether it can hold the right number of people, making it fit in your budget and finding out what dates are available can be very overwhelming.

Our VP of Digital Programming and Strategy, Charity Curley, recently got engaged and e-mailed me about barn locations in the New York area. In order to help her find the perfect location, we'd love feedback from you. Do you know any great barns for a reception? Also, what challenges are you facing in your wedding location search?

Postage for international reply cards?

A few of our guests live outside the United States. Do we need to provide the postage for their reply cards?

Although invites get sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding date- you'd be surprised how many people are left calling their friends 2 weeks before the wedding to get the final head count.

Bottom line, is the easier you make it for your guests to rsvp (including stamps), the sooner you will get your responses.

That being said, when I got married, I chose the old fashioned way- no enclosed card- and each guest wrote a personal note. It was fun to see how people responded. Some people wrote the formal reply and others wrote more personal comments. The notes are great keepsakes but by making it more difficult than checking off a box, you may have to do some wrangling to get all of the responses back.

Jenna Bush's Wedding

Take a sneak peak at Jenna's wedding! Great ideas abound at this Texan celebration.

Draping the tent with flags was a smart way to add interest and beauty to the ceiling of the tent.

The soft blue light from the luminarias not only accentuated her color palette but also created a beautiful nighttime glow.

Jenna's hair looked perfect with a soft sweep off to the side and a small sprig of simple white blooms. She looked natural yet very elegant.

In honor of Mother's Day!

When planning a wedding, you spend so much time thinking about all the details that sometimes important things slip through the cracks. With Mother's Day coming up this weekend, it's a good time to think about innovative ways to thank your mother for all of her help.

Sending her something to use the day of your wedding is a great way to acknowledge her support while also giving her a special keepsake. An embroidered hankie is a lovely idea because it can incorporate your wedding date as well as the wedding date of your parents or a special monogram. An example of this is the hankie below from Celtic Linen. The beautiful embroidery is from World of Isabella.

When I got married, I gave my mother a handkerchief embroidered with the initials and wedding dates of my grandmother, my mother and myself.

If hankies aren't your style, another great thank you is to send two great bottles of champagne or wine with dates that are important to you. Maybe one bottle from the year your were born and one with your fiance's birth year. You could also get one from the year your parents were married along with a bottle from the year you are getting married.

Whatever you choose for your mother this Sunday or on your wedding day, make it special, inventive and an expression of your deepest gratitude.

Our fashion editor's bridal market update

I just finished seeing tons of dresses at bridal market (which are all being uploaded into our gown gallery). I always love finding out which dresses were the favorites of our fashion editor, Shana Faust.

Here is Shana's sneak peek from next season's dress collections.

"Bridal market was so exciting this season," Shana says. "The collections were varied and diverse, with something to satisfy every type of bride. Some of my favorites included Oscar de la Renta's outstanding collection of ladylike gowns. From understated and minimal to voluminous and embellished, this show had it all. I loved this dress with an exaggerated bow, and this very fluid, slender gown with a belt."

"As always, I loved the Amsale collection," she says. "She offered both delicate and pretty choices, which will be popular with brides everywhere, and also a handful of gowns that were more sculptural and fashion forward. My favorites were this very sleek, sophisticated one-shouldered dress, and this very glamorous bubble-hemmed number."

"I was also completely seduced by the entire collection from Jenny Lee," Shana says. "This mauve-y colored gown with a rolled fabric flower embodies everything that this designer is known for: top-quality fabrics, an elegant silhouette, and a great fit. I just love this dress, which is currently available at Bergdorf Goodman."

"I adored this Grecian-inspired gown with sleeves from Rivini. It’s a very elegant choice for a bride looking to stay warm or keep her shoulders and arms covered."

"Carolina Herrera and Vera Wang also showed very strong collections," Shana says. "Vera’s collection is mostly full of modern shapes and silhouettes with romantic flourishes, while Carolina’s is all about looking polished and refined."

Here I am with Carolina Herrera (center) and Shana (left).

Designer Vera Wang strikes a pose with me backstage.

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

In honor of Cinco De Mayo, I could not help but show you a few of my favorite Mexican-themed ideas that we have covered in the magazine. (Cinco De Mayo is primarily a regional and not an obligatory federal holiday in Mexico. The date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. ) The fifth of May is an especially great date for me, because it's also my wedding anniversary.

Above: Tequila-marinated gravlax on plantain chips, shredded chicken mole on cucumber rolls, and chili in mini corn cups from DM Cuisine Ltd., all presented on fabric mats in summery colors.

Below: Paper banners from Mexican Sugar Skull, tiny colorful fabric mats for hors d'oeuvres, and white wine sangria with fruit-filled skewers.

Below: Spicy popcorn served in corn husks from MexGrocer, red and yellow corn kernels from Detroit Popcorn Company, and raffia ribbon from Raffit Ribbon. On right: Coaster cut to size and stamped with favorite festive stamps from Stampworx2000.

Bridal Party Gifts

It seems that most brides I know spend so much time early on thinking about the cake, flowers, dress, etc., and then a few weeks (or even days) before the big event, they start to scramble to find gifts for their bridal party, parents, or even for their groom! When I met Heather Moore at a recent jewelry show, I thought her pieces would be perfect for bridal party gifts. I've always liked anything personalized (I guess that's why I've worked for Martha Stewart for over 16 years), and also think jewelry is nice since it can be worn the day of the wedding or at the rehearsal dinner. Have you found the perfect gift for you bridal party yet? Below are some tips from Heather herself.

"You want to give them something to remember the special day, but you also want to make sure it's unique and personal.  My personalized collection, Heather Moore Jewelry, brings all of these important points to the table.  These hand-stamped items are timely accents for a wedding gown, bridesmaids' dresses, or tuxedos.  You can have each piece made to your specifications. Give each bridesmaid a charm with her initials, or stamp the best man's monogrammed initials onto a pair of cuff links. Unlike that sea green bridesmaid's dress that she'll only wear once, these are timeless pieces that can be worn for any occasion, forever.  And you can continue to add on to your piece as time passes and other milestones occur."

A charm necklace featuring all of the brides maids around the heart on the jumbo charm:

A necklace with the wedding date:

Cufflinks for the groomsmen: