Invitation Postage: The Reply Envelope / RED ALERT!

by Talley Sue Hohlfeld, Etiquette Expert

Red alert: Postage rates go up May 11--from 42¢ to 44¢ for one ounce.

This has me longing for the old, golden days of etiquette. You know, the days when the R.S.V.P. was the acknowledged responsibility of guests, and they replied by writing a short formal note on their own notepaper, and they supplied their own stamp. (Oh, you don't remember those days? To be honest, I don't either—they are long gone.)

That rate hike is going to be a headache for the next couple of months for brides who provide reply cards with postage, because the new denominations won't be on sale until May 1. You can’t control when your guests will drop their R.S.V.P.’s in the mailbox, and if the reply-card envelope doesn’t have enough postage, it may get delayed by the post office.

The U.S. Postal Service has several options for you.

The Forever stamp could be your friend. A discreet rendering of the Liberty Bell, it will cost you 42¢ now and count as full postage no matter when your guests get to the mailbox.

Of course, you can buy 1¢ and 2¢ stamps to add to your 42¢-er, but that does make for a mess, especially on that small envelope.

Combining several stamps can look great, though, as our Good Things column showed back in Spring 2007. (Find a 5th grader to help you figure out how many of which denomination of stamp you need, unless you're better at all that algebra than I am.) Just be sure the face value of the stamps you choose is the same as or bigger than 44¢.

   

If none of these are pleasing your aesthetic sensibilities, it wouldn’t be rude to leave the stamp off altogether. Risky, perhaps—but not rude. (I worry a bit that some folks will simply drop the envelope in the mail without noticing that the stamp is missing. The envelope will get there, postage-due, but it may take a while.)

Though to be fair, I should warn you—most people don’t read etiquette books, and there might be a guest or two who will complain about having to provide their own stamps to R.S.V.P.

Do you think your family and friends will figure it out, and supply their own stamps?

Comments

[Marissa S.]

Thank you for the notice! We've set our RSVP date for May 12th, the day after the increase goes into effect. To be on the safe side, I think we'll go ahead and add the extra postage!

[Lexi]

Considering over half of my invitations are going out internationally, there's not a chance that I'm going to try and figure out the postage for every single country they're going to! lol. My guests will just have to pay for their own stamp to return the RSVP's and if any of them complain... oh well! I've never understood why it's *expected* that the hosts pay for certain things (ie- stamps on RSVP, full open bar, etc.) that wouldn't make an ounce of difference to me as a guest- after all, we're not all made of money and I realize that.

[Talley Sue Hohlfeld, Weddings managing editor]

Marissa S., glad to help!

Lexi, we addressed your international-postage issue once in an AskMartha; I think that was the crux of the advice we gave: that you could let the guests figure out how much postage they'd need. We also suggested including an e-mail address to R.S.V.P.ing.

It's not *technically* expected that the host pay for the RSVP stamps. It's just the the self-defense tactic of holding guests' hands has come to be seen as "the norm."

[blossom]

to save on both money and paper, we did away with rsvp cards altogether - instead, invitees are able to rsvp using a simple form at our wedding website. the couple of older folks that don't have internet access just simply give us a call!

[Talley Sue Hohlfeld, Weddings managing editor]

Blossom, did that work? What was your response rate? I would really love to know--please do send us an e-mail (or post it here):

askmartha@marthastewart.com

[Carrie]

My maid of honor's response envelope stamp was somehow missed. She assumed this was on purpose and was surprised when I told her she had to respond. She thought it was money-saving. Oops.

[Carrie]

My maid of honor's response envelope stamp was somehow missed. She assumed this was on purpose and was surprised when I told her she had to respond. She thought it was money-saving. Oops.